Leaving A Legacy....

Over the past few weeks I have spent some time pondering the type of legacy I want to pass down to the next generations in my family.  Do I want my future children to be struggling with the same issues that I have battled?  Do I want my future grand-children fighting an addiction that has been passed down from generation to generation?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!
Growing up I didn't know that there was a possiblity that things could be different.  I thought that is was my destiny to walk through addiction, pain, and sufferings.  I thought that because my mom behaved in a certain way that I was destined to behave in that same way.  I was certain that my life would just progress exactly the way that my parents and grandparents lives did.
Last blog post I challenged myself and you to write out an A-Z list of characteristics and behaviors that would be included in a legacy that you would like to pass down to the future generations.  I have done that and will share with you what I put on my legacy list.  However I thought that I might also look at what type of legacy was passed down to me.  You see there are behaviors that are preveliant in my family, behaviors that it seems everyone struggles with.  Then there are certain behaviors that I picked up in response to some of the stuff passed down to me.  In making an A-Z list of those things that have roots in my family history and those things that I have added to that list throughout my life my A-Z list would include things like: Addictions, Broken Promises,Cutting, Divorce, Emotional Eating, Fighting, Gambling, Health Issues, Insecurities,Jealousy.  It would also include such things as suicide, mental illness, worthlessness, abuse, pornography, and sexual sin.  Are these the types of things that I want to pass down to my children and my children's children?  NO!! And thankfully I don't have to.  I can draw the line with me.  Sexual abuse in my family can end with me!! Addictions can end with me!! Mental illness can end with me!!! I don't have to pass these things on to future generations and I WON'T!!!

So if I don't want to leave this legacy than what do I want to leave?  Well I have wrote out an A-Z list of the legacy that I do want to leave.  I have printed it out and framed it.  I then hung it on my bedroom wall so that I see it everyday and I am reminded of what I am fighting for.  So what type of legacy do I want to leave?

…..But showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments-Exodus 20:6

A anointing of the Holy Spirit
B broken generational sins
C confidence in who they are in Christ
D discernment 
E employment (steady and reliable)
F financial responsibility and security 
G godly spouses
H healthy boundaries
I integrity
J joy of the Lord
K knowledge and wisdom 
L love (pure agape love not foo-foo love based on deeds)
M ministry involvement 
N not easily swayed by the enemy
O operating in the gifts of the Spirit
P passion for prayer
Q quick to turn from sin and repent
R reaching out to others
S steadfast faith
T trustworthy
U unity within the family 
V victorious in Christ 
W worship 
X eXamples of Christ's love 
Y yearning for Heaven
Z zeal for the Word

What legacy will you leave?  Will your children struggle like you have or will they walk in freedom?

A is for Annoying, B is for Belligerent, C is for ......

The A-Z word game has been suggested to me over and over again by people in my life as a tool that I can use to take my mind off the course that it is on and direct it's attention somewhere else.  I must admit though that I never really gave the A-Z word game a chance.  It just seemed like way too much work for me who was perfectly content to allow my mind to wander aimlessly where ever it found its self drifting.  Didn't these people who were suggesting this outrageous task to me know exactly how many letters were in the alphabet?!?! It would take me hours to think of a word for all 26 letters.  For years I have always thought that this might be a good thing for others to do but definitely not needed for myself.  Of course often when I think like that I soon find myself in a situation where my logic is proven wrong, that's exactly what happened last night.

In the course of a conversation with an extremely close friend I suggested, probably firmly demanded, that she do the A-Z word game to help distract her from thoughts that were pounding in her mind.  I potitely asked if she would mind, really?,  no I told her I wanted her to do A-Z of city names and for her to email it to me. A little bit later I got an email from her with her list of A-Z cities.....                                                                    

A-Alexandria,B-Boston,C-Chicago,D-Dallas

                                                                                             
Excited that her focus was not on what it had been I conntinued reading. It soon became clear to me that she too shared my feelings about the A-Z word game. Some of the replies that I got included....

S-Sucks. This game suck,U-U are annoying sometimes.

Once again I issued her the A-Z word game challenge.  Yeah it might of still been a demand.  However it was a demand made in love.  This time I wanted A-Z songs. Sortly afterwards I got an email with the list of songs.  The first A-Z list had seven destructive answers on it and the second list had just two!!! I thought to myself WOW apparently this does work. I filed that information away for my future use.  Not that I was intending on EVER making an A-Z word list but just in case another friend might find it useful.  

Not too much time passed before I found myself doing an A-Z word list with this friend.  A-annoying she started it out with(apparently she still wasn't thrilled with the word game), B-believing I replied, C-Christ, D-Delivers, E-Equips.  We went through the entire alphabet taking turns coming up with words that desribed Christ.  In case your wondering if we changed A, we did.  This morning A was changed from annoying to always faithful!! 

It was during the A-Z characteristics of Christ that I realized that there was something happening.  Our minds were being taken off of those things that the enemy was trying to distract us with and our complete focus was on the character of our Jesus.  There is power in Jesus!! There is freedom in focusing on who Christ is!!! Whoo!!! He is worthy to be praised!!! 

I thought that was going to be the end of the A-Z word game for a while.  However I was wrong....

My friend was being attacked by the enemy of our soul, the one who wants nothing but to destroy us.  Satan will bring to our minds anything that he thinks will put a gap between us and our God.  I know that in my own life sometimes I feel like I am constantly bombarded with the lies of the devil. "You're never going to amount to anything, Do you really think you should be working in ministry?, If only your church knew what you were thinking about last night, You're worthless, Might as well cut, You aren't really free from that, just do it once, God doesn't have a husband set aside for you, Do you really think that you could ever make a godly wife?"  Just on and on, over and over these thoughts among many, many others race and tear through my mind.  Soon I start to believe them.  I find myself saying, "You're right I am never going to be married, I am never going to have kids. Noone would ever want me.", etc.  Today sitting here typing this I KNOW those are lies straight from the pit of hell but I admit that I still at times fall for the ememies ploys.  Not as often or as hard but I still find myself believing lies. The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy.  The enemy knows that if he can destroy the truth of who we are in Christ, then he can steal all hope from us, and then he can sit back while we kill ourselves.  It's time for us to stand FIRM in who we are in Christ, to not be swayed to the left or the right!! Well.... How did I get off on that?! Indentity in Christ is a topic for a whole nother blog post.  

Back to the A-Z word game and the realization that I had this morning.  During a morning conversation with this same friend of mine I thought that perhaps she could benefit from atleast one more A-Z word game.  This time I sent her a text and told her to do an A-Z list of what type of legacy she was going to leave for her kids, grand-kids, great grand-kids, great-great-grand-kids etc.  Immediately I felt the tug of the Holy Spirit pushing me to also do this A-Z list.  Seriously?!? Doesn't God know how I feel about these?  Honestly my friends repsonse kinda echoed my own, "What???? That's Hard!!!" Funny thing was as I was trying to convince her of the benefits of making this list the Holy Spirit was using my words to her to get through to me.  God is quite good at using circumstances in our lives to get our attention.  Here I am trying to convince my friend of the benefits of this A-Z list yet at the same time I am balking at God at the thought of having to do the same list.
"God I am not married.  I have no children.  I have no legacy to leave. Why should I write out this list?"  Gently I hear that whisper, "Kaiden you are leaving a legacy for Kaiden.  Soon you will be leaving a legacy for Kara. What kind of legacy are you going to leave them?  Will they struggle with the pains that your family has struggled with for generations or are you going to break those for them?"  See one of my favorite Scriptures is Exodus 20:4 where God is talking about those things which can be passed down from generation to generation. It says that God will punish the children for the sins of their parents to the third and fourth generation, yet He will also bless a thousand generations of those who love Him and keep His commandments.  Am I leaving blessing or cursing as my legacy to the generations that follow me?  So tonight I sat here typing this knowing that I too will be making an A-Z word list of the type of legacy I want to leave the furture generations.  Next time I am tempted to believe a lie of the enemy I can pull out this list and think would it be worth it knowing that furture generations could be punished for choices that I make today?
What legacy are you leaving the future generations is your family?  What A-Z word list should you make?